As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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