All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
