what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
