and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
