She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
