wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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