i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
