Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The best revenge is premature balding
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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