I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
