Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
