I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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