Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
