Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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