So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
