I love black thongs
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
