its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
