I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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