So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
