these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
