I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
