Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
