He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
