sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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