So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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