her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
