you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
