And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
