went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
