Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
