Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
