I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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