something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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