I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
