Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
