i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
