I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
