OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
