i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
