Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
