I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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