The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish they made helmets for livers.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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