from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
