I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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