What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
