i just made my gag reflex go away.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I smell like Dick and happiness
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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