i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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