he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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