not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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