Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
