I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
