I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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